Snow queen

Our snow season officially begins. We'll be leaving for Mt Buller at approximately 4:30pm this afternoon. Just over a metre of snow, sixteen lifts open and I finally get to try out my new baby....

Hope yall have a great weekend, see you on Monday!

We're happy little Vag... I mean Vegemites

After 85 years, Kraft has released a new 'flavour' of Vegemite. Some promotional people from Kraft delivered a whole bunch of tasters to Andrew's work, and we now have a pile of them at home.

This new version mixes milk, butter and cream cheese into the Vegemite, making it richer but less salty. I'm not sold on it yet. I actually find it kinda tasteless. I can hear laughter from international readers, who more than likely can't understand what we see in the overpowering taste of Vegemite down here. I think that's the problem for me, the original flavour is such a taste sensation, and by removing that intensity the new version becomes a bit....meh.

Kraft are currently on the hunt for a name to accompany the revised version, which I think is the perfect time to commercialise that old Aussie colloquialism 'Vaginamite'.

Now, the secret to eating Vaginamite (the old one, not the new one) is to spread it thinly, people. Remember, it's not Jam (jelly). There's nothing better for breakfast than toast with fresh butter and a light scraping of Vaginamite. Except if you add tomato and melted cheese to the equation.

Although, something tells me that most of the people who read this blog prefer Penis Butter.

Six degrees?

Hollywood's wackiest celebrity is living in Melbourne at the moment while his wife Katie Holmes films a remake of the 1973 made-for-TV Horror flick Don't be Afraid of the Dark. I'm surprised Mr Cruise allows Katie to work at all, but anyway...

One of my sister's work colleagues went to a matinee performance of Jersey Boys at the Princess Theatre on Sunday. There were five empty seats beside he and his wife, and the show was running late. Just as the lights went down, a group of people trailed out of a door to the side of the stage - Tom, Katie, their daughter and two body guards walked up and plonked themselves down beside my sisters colleague and his wife.

Do Scientologists appreciate musicals? 

Anywho, my sister's colleague couldn't help but say hello to them and apparently Tom was very polite. Although, he said that Katie didn't speak for the whole night and the body language between herself and Tom seemed a little strange. Who know what's going on in that marriage.

Why am I telling you this? Well, you don't get to hear those sorts of stories often in Australia, and I felt like posting something about celebrities.

Boysfornoise

I mightn't talk about it much on here, but I'm a big fan of listening to podcasts. I prefer the amateurish ones that offer real insight into the different lives of people around the world, as opposed to ones hosted by professional radio hosts and the like. I should do a post about my favorite podcasts some time.

But first, I'd like to introduce Boysfornoise, starring your very own moi and Cloudcontrol!!!!!

Yes, we've been talking it about for ages, and it took longer still to figure out how to record a podcast properly, but...we've done it. Twice, even!

Boysfornoise will be an every-other-week podcast about......stuff....like music, art, movies, popular culture and making fun of people. And maybe a little bit of gay stuff too.

We've just done our second episode where we crap on about whether Michael Jackson’s family were satanists, and agree that Melbourne’s new Public Transport system is going to rock. Oh, and you always want your tram driver to be in good mental health.

Billy gushes over Transformers 2, in our Screenwatch segment. We also run through our top 3 iPhone apps – I like Farts and Cloudcontrol likes Grindin’!

If you're interested, you can find the episode here.

We'll be on iTunes soon. No laughing people, we know we suck and this has all been recorded in Garageband......

Feedback welcome!

Our local

Continuing my recent spate of posts on Melbourne's dining haunts, here's a few words about our 'local' The Albion.


If you haven't put two and two together by now, Andrew and I tend to eat out more than in. This probably has more to do with lack of organisation rather than not actually wanting to cook. We rarely have the foresight to shop for a week's worth of meals, and don't always feeling trekking through the supermarket after work. Additionally, we're lucky enough to have plenty of places nearby where we can eat good food, without the fine dining prices. Also, eating out is a great way to catch up with friends.

Which brings me to The Albion, in Port Melbourne. Perhaps the only pub/restaurant I know of that's busier during the week than on weekends. Monday and Tuesday nights are 'locals nights' and everything off the counter meal menu is only $14 (they have a restaurant area with a seperate menu as well). You know how most pubs have a 'locals night' where the food's real cheap, but you can only choose out of three or four things? The Albion says Balls to That and has the entire counter meal menu on offer, which must consist of at least 20 edible delights; risottos, pastas, salads, curries, seafood, steak.

They have specials on other nights of the week too, and from 6pm onwards the place is packed. You want to get your order in early because once the place is really jumping it can take a while for your food to come out.

We've been there on a Saturday night once or twice, and the place is super quiet. Like, crickets and frogs quiet. But they don't seem phased given they must make a killing during the rest of the week.

The decor is simple and unfashionable just like a good pub should be. Cheap furniture, distastefully patterned carpet and cheesy photos of the owner doing blokey stuff like fishing. But none of that matters when the place is filled with happy, laughing and over fed people.

Punters queueing up to order their meals.

We were originally introduced to The Albion by a girl I used to work with, whose husband and his friends would travel from thirty minutes away just to have the parmigiana on locals night. The parma is still the most popular dish and it's obscenely huge, so huge that most people can't finish it. I've gone off the parma because I'm sure those chickens have been genetically modified or something. No chicken has tits that big.

Andrew swears by the corned beef, but eating meat that's been boiled in salty water until it's freakishly pink is not my idea of a tasty meal. Instead I go for the Fettuccine Marinara, featuring capers, chunks of tomato, generous amounts of prawns, mussels and fish tossed in a light olive oil. Although, on our last two visits I've had gnocchi (super tender and soft) in a beef ragu. Burp.

Andrew tried a pasta with smoked chicken, bacon and peas and gave it a thumbs up.

When I was working in the city, I would meet Andrew at The Albion after work every Monday night. I know that sounds predictable, but we'd see the same neighbours and other locals there week after week too. In fact we bump into someone we know everytime we're there. The food's good enough to keep people coming back regularly, which is probably why 3AW radio station voted it Melbourne's best pub a number of years in a row.

Visual Diary: Thursday 18 June

8am - how else do you start the day?

9am - driving through South Melbourne to a client meeting

10am - leaving client meeting

11am - hunting down the final season of The Sopranos on DVD

12pm - back at the desk earning a crust

1pm - This wasn't my lunch, I promise!

2pm - random desk crap

3pm - still earning a crust

4pm - there's nothing sexier than an art smock, right?

5pm - walking the pooch in the park, sun setting in the background. Bloody cold!

7pm - I drove across the city to Carlton, to catch up with cloudcontrol and a friend visiting from Sydney

8pm - dinner at a vegan restaurant. Yes, vegan. Not my choice, but the food was rather tasty

9pm - coffee and sweets at Melbourne's Italian mega-cafe Brunettis. Say cheese!

10pm - Back home, chilling out with Burty.

11pm - falling asleep with a book and my ipod on

Melbourne: The OG?

International visitors to this blog might not be aware that Melbourne, Australia has been a hotspot for 'gangland warfare'. By that I mean (un)organised crime as opposed to a Los Angeles 'Bloods versus Crips' thing. Australia even has a TV series based on the real-life events I'm referring to.


I bring this up now, because after 2 - 3 years of relative quiet on the 'people-shooting-each-other-in-restaurants' front..............another local crim has been shot in a restaurant. Actually, this time it was a cafe.

The whole schmozzle revolves around a guy named Carl Williams wanting to 'remove' the Moran family (two brothers and their father), who ran a highly successful drug ring, and their associates. It started with the death of a guy called Alphonse Gangiatano in 1995, and ended after another 33 murders (often in public) in 2006. Both the Moran brothers and their father were among that 33.

Two days ago (Monday) Mrs Moran was allegedly an accomplice in the murder of her brother-in-law while he was having his morning coffee in a cafe. Apparently he had something to do with the deaths of her husband and sons.

Confused, much? If you're as interested in the macarbe as I am, you can find out the details to the whole 'Melbourne Gangland War' here.

Weirdly, two of the murders happened eerily close to where I was living at the time they took place. One unfortunate fellow was murdered in his car here in Port Melbourne, across the road from the same supermarket that everyone who lives here frequents pretty much everyday. This was particularly creepy because the night it took place, Andrew and I drove past THE scene on our way home from a night out. It couldn't have been long after it had actually happened because there was only one police car present. We assumed they'd pulled someone over for speeding, and didn't even give it a second thought until we saw the news the following morning.

Another gentleman met an untimely death in the middle of the day, outside his house in South Yarra, literally around the corner from where I was living at the time. I used to walk past this guy's house EVERYDAY on my way to/from work. I was at work when it happened, and had to take a detour to get back home.

The whole saga was a bit of a shock to us Melburnians I think, exposing a world we didn't really want to think existed. Of course at the same time we were all fascinated.

Why am I telling you this? I don't really know; it's just something I've been thinking about again now that this most recent shooting has brought it all back into the spotlight. It's a interesting yarn, and if you can get your hands on a copy of the TV series called Underbelly (see above - but make sure you don't end up with the sequel Underbelly: A tale of two Cities, because it's not as good) it's worth a watch. Good script, decent acting and plenty of Australian Z-grade celebrities. And Rodger Corser looks damn fine in a police uniform. Here's an overview.

Another fine eatery

Sooo, do you ever find yourself going back to a restaurant because the staff are humorously rude and the portions are a little....slim? Sounds weird, huh. But Andrew and I do, and plenty of others do too.

Victoria Street, in Richmond, is Melbourne's default Vietnamese district. It's filled with run down Asian grocery stores and bakeries, tacky audiovisual shops, the odd karaoke joint and dozens upon dozens of Vietnamese restaurants. There's one restaurant in particular called Minh Minh that Andrew and I frequent on a regular basis.


We were there a little earlier than usual tonight so it was still quiet, but most nights Minh Minh is overflowing with people. The lady who owns it, Sandy, knows where her bread is buttered and does a great job of flirting and toying with the gays to the point where 80% of her clientele is queer. In fact, until a few years ago she went out of her way to hire obscenely young and pretty Asian boy waiters who attracted an abundance of........how do I put this delicately.........'rice queens'. However, she had to stop this marketing ploy when the waiters starting earning extra tips by turning tricks in the bathrooms.

Sandy herself is a fucking classic. Originally from Vietnam, her English isn't the best but that doesn't stop her from abusing customers, bossing everyone around and kicking people off their tables before they've finished because she wants to make room for other customers queuing out the door. But she does this with a cheeky glint in her eye, and she loves it when you give shit back to her. And the waiters love to gossip with the customers about what an ogre she is. Her husband works in the kitchen and it's not unusual to hear her screaming at him in there.

I know this sounds like a horrible dining experience, but weirdly it's exactly what keeps people going back there. Andrew and I eat at Minh Minh pretty regularly (it's so cheap!) and you see the same faces there all the time. It's not unusual to find yourself sharing 'Sandy' stories with strangers on the table next to you. While the neighbouring restaurants are half empty, Minh Minh is bursting at the seams.

As for the food, mostly it's a westernised version of various Asian cuisines. It's lack of authenticity means that the local Vietnamese community don't really eat there. But the food is fresh, and it arrives quickly which makes it another perfect restaurant to eat at before/after a film or something. Andrew and I have our favourites that we order every time:

Spring rolls and spicy chicken skewers

Salt n' peppered calamari and scezchuan lamb

And a lovely bottle of 'Squid's Fist' Sangiovese Shiraz, from funky South Australian winery Adelina Wines

Big. Gay. Weekend!

The cast and crew (Bernice looking very grumpy)

Awwww

Huzzah!

Harbour Mistress, D.U.P. and I climbed to the summit, in the fog.

Still climbing

On the very peak. Watch your step!

The Snow Pony, a great new bar, with a waiter that the cast and crew took a fancy to

D.U.P. doing his Heidi impersonation

The first sign of snow for the season

Late night shenanigans

The Italian Waiters Club

One of the cool things about living in Melbourne is the city’s nooks and crannies filled with great bars and fantastic little restaurants. On Saturday night before seeing Billy Elliot: The Musical at the Her Majesty's Theatre, we had a bite to eat at Melbourne’s worst kept secret, the Italian Waiter’s Club.

Apparently this tiny little haunt has been in business since the 1940’s. It gets its name from the Italian and Spanish waiters who would retire there late in the evenings after work for a glass of vino and a decent feed. Based purely on word of mouth, the place is legendary for serving up fresh, hearty, no fuss Italian food at a very reasonable price.

Compared to other Melbourne hotspots the Italian Waiters Club is relatively easy to find. Wander down Meyers Place, at the top of Bourke Street and keep your eye out for the dodgy doorway and rickety staircase.

The atmosphere is vibrant and noisy, while the décor is totally kitsch: 1970s wood panelling, tacky curtains, laminex tables, kitchen seats and cheap decorative prints. The menu, which hasn’t changed in all the time I’ve been going there, has no pricing and is proudly displayed on a chalkboard. Choice of drinks is easy: red, white, beer and soft drink. All served in re-purposed jam jars.

The menu is simple and reasonably authentic. Carbonara, cannelloni, Amatriciana, puttanesca etc. But my favourite dish, which I had on Saturday is a little less…Italian. Chicken Parmagiana with bolognese sauce. I think parmagiana is an Australian thing, isn’t it? Typically a pub style meal, it consists of a chicken schnitzel covered in melted cheese, Napoli sauce and sometimes ham. I’m not really sure why the ‘parma’ is a dish so heavily linked with Italian cuisine, but it is. The Italian Waiters Club put their own signature on the parma by adding bolognese sauce, which is gluttonous but oh so tasty.

Who cares if the vegetables were a little underdone, I couldn’t fit them in after that slab of chicken breast and mince anyway. The Italian Waiters Club is the perfect pit stop before the theatre or a movie. Most recommended for a cheap n cheerful meal.

Mmmm, Doritos......

I know I'm being lazy with my posts lately. But meh, this is way more entertaining.

How many of you want one of these?

Stumbled across this on Twitter and it made me giggle so much I just had to post it. Well, that's my Xmas shopping done for this year!

Warren Miller

As the ski season approaches each year, the Warren Miller carnival comes town.

Mr Miller is an American documentary/filmmaker, who has produced, directed and narrated a new ski-focused film every year since 1950. Miller and his team travel the world filming professional snow bunnies and snow bums as they cruise slopes in all manner of high-altitude and dangerous places. The films are peppered with historical facts and interesting tidbits about the places featured in each film, but essentially it's about great cinematography, high energy soundtracks and crazy stunts.

Tonight we wandered down to one of Melbourne's more beautiful old-world cinemas, The Rivoli to see a screening of the 2009 Warren Miller film Children of Winter (corny title, much?).


Mr Miller is now in his eighties and has gradually been phased out of the production. The last few films have reused his narration from previous titles. But for Children of Winter the man himself has been replaced by Winter Olympics gold medalist Jonny Mosley.

It was a highly entertaining film, and succeeded in getting us excited about the impending season (if we're lucky enough to actually get snow during this drought!). There was some amazing footage from Iceland, where three guys spent time in a yacht on the country's brutal looking seas. They anchored where ever took their fancy, to climb and then ski down some incredibly rocky terrain that led straight into the icy ocean. I'd love to visit Iceland.

Other destinations featured in Children of Winter were Austria, Alaska, Aspen, and Japan. I love to snowboard, but you'll never catch me doing any of the things in the Children of Winter preview below....I could break a nail!

Wicked cold dinners by Angels and Demons

Urgh! I've come down with a cold. I don't often catch them badly enough that I don't feel like moving, but this one's a shocker. I have a feeling I caught it on the plane last week traveling to Sydney. Breathing in all that recycled air dense with other people's germs.....eeeeewww!!!! Hold on, let me blow my nose.

So Andrew and I went to see the stage musical Wicked, with Cloudcontrol last Thursday. We had seats only ten rows from the front, which was awesome. I'm not one to sit around listening to musicals all day long (although, I've had a soft spot for The Rocky Horror Show since I was a child, but that's another story) but I do enjoy live musicals, and the theatre in general. I love the costumes and stage sets, the creativity the goes into bringing a story to the stage.

Wicked was great, lots of fun and very well done. The story was very cleverly entwined into the original Wizard of Oz film. I won't give too much away in case some of you haven't seen it yet, which I would recommend you do although I have to say that the stage show of Priscilla Queen of the Desert (which I wrote about here) was better, but only marginally. And despite claiming to be a Munchkin, I didn't recognise WCS climbing about the stage :)

On Saturday night Cloudcontrol, the Harbour Mistress and two other friends came over for a gigantic dinner-feast. Cloudcontrol, Debbie and I prepared two courses each - Oysters done two ways, pumpkin and coriander soup, scallops in a delicious Thai dressing, a Vietnamese chicken salad, lamb shanks and then my infamous white chocolate cheesecake. To finish off we had a plate of various cheeses (goats, blue, brie and cheddar). Needless to say that we could all barely move after consuming so much - and so varied - food. And wine. It was an exceptional meal though.

I woke up on Sunday with a head full of mucus and yukky stuff. Even so, I made it out to see Angels and Demons, which was better than the Davinci Code movie, but disappointing in comparison to the book. Still, it's nice to see a mindless Hollywood blockbuster every once in a while.

I spent the rest of the day in bed, which is where I'm about to go now.